Why Do I?

Why do I seem to always be in a world of hurt,
brought on by those who I love the most?

Why do I feel like I keep letting everyone down,
when I have done nothing to let them down?

Why do I cry over things I have no control over,
yet I am expected to suck it all up and dry my tears?

Why do I never have the courage to face the bullies in my life,
but have no problem walking away from them?

Why am I always the problem,
when I stay as far away from trouble as possible?

Why can't I make people understand how I can never believe in love,
especially since love for people is what makes me hurt so inside?

Why can't I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel,
especially if there is no light coming towards me?

Why do I feel as if my life is always going downhill,
when I have so much good in front of me?

Why won't I let myself consider dating again,
if I don't know how he feels about me?

Why do I always seem to live for others,
but when it's time to live for myself I haven't gotten a clue how?

Why can't I stand up for what I think is right,
but can express my feelings on things I know are wrong?

Why am I always hurting,
and the only way to forget the hurt is to do things I shouldn't?

Why can't I get over the fact that I feel like such an alien in my own family,
but I'm told I fit in just as well as everyone else?

Why do I feel as if the world is coming to an end,
but I have yet to hear the trumpets sound?

Why do I love all the people who have hurt me so bad in my life,
but I don't want to tell them I love them?

Why do I feel as if I am the weakest thing on the Earth,
but everyone around me tells me I am so strong?

Why do I feel as if the pain will never go away,
but deep down I know that it will deminish with time?

Why do I give my friends and family advice,
but when the situations are affecting me I can't hear what people are saying?

Why do I feel like the worst person in the world,
but I have no clue what I am feeling so awful about?