Closeness

For some reason, I hate people being physically close to me. I hate being touched. And because of this, I lost the only guy I have ever loved. Now I'm not saying being touched isn't nice, but for me, I have to truly want to be touched otherwise it makes me wanna throw up. My dad thinks this dates back to when I was a baby. I absoultely hated being held! If I was crying, I refused to be held. Otherwise I would just cry harder. I don't really know why, I guess I have always been one who doesn't like to be comforted by being touched physically. I would rather have someone comfort me with words than with actions. It just ain't my style to be all touchy-feely. I can't explain it. I just get this feeling like my space is being intruded or something. Its not fair to the people I date who happen to like touchy-feelyness. I wish I could enjoy it, but I can't. I wish others understood that but until they do, I'm just gonna hurt more people.