Letting off Steam

Am I like a magnet for all the boys that seem great at first and then turn into the biggest assholes ever? I mean the last 2 boyfriends I have had seemed so awesome and different from all the other jerks out there and then one day its like poof!!! they turn into the biggest assholes ever!! I hate the male race right now. I have only been as nice I will allow myself to be and they freakin can't return that same curtesy. I think I am just going to say to hell with stupid boys until I feel like they actually deserve me. If I do anything with boys from now on, its going to be strictly friendship stuff.
But hell I had better be careful because this might come back and be held against me one day. I never thought that someone would stoop as low as using my own personal thoughts against me but obviously I misjudged that one!! I guess I should only write about things that people can't use against me later on. I guess I should just leave all that stuff to be written in my journal that nobody can read. Because then I can't get bitched out again. I apologize to the person whom this is directed to (and he knows who he is) for having thoughts and thinking that it was safe for me to write in my journal. For thinking that it was ok for me to write about things that are on my mind, and for thinking that I could express myself. I won't do it again ok?
And to everyone else who is reading this (because I have no knowledge of who reads my journal anymore), I am sorry that I seem a little heated right now. I am just blowing off some steam, if that is ok with my lovely boyfriend I mean. I am letting this shit out because I think everyone should know what is going on because obviously everyone seems to already know everything anyway. And I want to tell everyone that I am NOT a cheater, contrary to what you might think. I am going to use something that journalist say all the time. Don't believe everything you read. If you think I am cheating, then to hell with you. And if you think I am writing about my so-called affair, then you need to get your head checked. What I write about is my business, not yours. If I wanted you to know about whatever is in my head, I would tell you. Other than that, back the fuck off!!!