Class of 2005

The time has come.
We are being set out into the world as proud graduates of Borger High.

For some of us,
Our first step into society will be college.
Others will take the honor of serving in our nation's military.
And some will take this time to find themselves before they make their way into the unknown.

Though we are parting ways from those we know and things that are familiar to us,
We will always have the memories of each other.
Whether it be memories of being "fishies,"
Or ruling the school,
The memories of our class will stay with us forever.

No matter what this life may throw at us,
One thing is for sure.
The Borger High graduating class of 2005 will always hold a special place in everyone's hearts.

Congradulations and the best of luck to all the seniors,
And to those to come.

Look In My Eyes

Look in my eyes,
Tell me what you see.
Do you see the hurt that is inflicted upon me?

Look in my eyes,
Tell me what I feel.
Can you see the desperation to be loved by others?

Look in my eyes,
Tell me what you hear.
How long will you ignore the suffering in my voice?

Look in my eyes,
Tell me how you see me.
Don't you see how I not only fear you,
But I fear myself?

*I am thinking about entering this is a contest. Let me know if this is good enough to send in!

Dang this was a long time ago but I absolutely loved my hair! 

Gosh I love this boy... 

Matt and I. Gosh I think this is like the only pic I have of the two of us... 

It's my Carey Renae!  

Just me hanging with Allie and Matt. 

I love this picture of me. Allie says that it is my sexy picture.. 

See?? I really am royalty! 

Mandie and I eating dinner over Spring Break. I love this picture of us! 

This is me trying on prom dresses. I really liked this one too... 

Explosion

Late last night there was an explosion at the plant. I don't know anything except that one minute I heard a loud "BOOM" and about 2 seconds later there was a shockwave that hit the house and knocked things off the wall. I ran outside as soon as I felt the shockwave and I could literally hear the roar of the flame all the way here. And the plant is maybe 7 miles from here. So you can just imagine how big the flame was if I could hear it loud and clear from such a distance. I don't know the extent of the damage done, but I have heard that one person died. Possibly two. I also heard that alot of people are injured, which is to be expected. I'm just glad that Dad wasn't out there. Dad and I have had our share of problems lately, but it would still kill me if he would have been hurt out there. And I don't even want to think what would have happened if Dad had died out there. That would have rocked me to the core, especially since I practically grew up in the chemical plant world. And I have family who have worked out there in that mess. I wouldn't be able to surround myself with Borger, because this is a town that revolves around the work that the chemical plant gives. That really is the lively hood of Borger. An explosion here will basically end this town forever. I'm glad that it wasn't too bad. Now all I can do is pray that something like this doesn't happen again.

New Stuff In My World

I haven't really written in here lately but I have been gone for Spring Break. But alot has happened. Matt and I are back together (don't know if I blogged about that) and on Tuesday he told me that he loves me. Oh my gosh I was so excited because I had been trying to figure out how I was gonna tell him! But I'm really glad that is out in the open because Matt can just tell when I have something on my mind. And I wouldn't have been able to say "nothing" because that is something. So I had to get my head out from between my legs and say something. And I'm glad I did. Matt makes me happier than anything in this world. And lately I have needed this happiness. Because lets face it. I hate being home because Dad and I are always fighting and that brings me down to the ground quicker than wind blowing a tumble weed along the road. I'm always in a depressed mood at home. I crave school because my friends bring me back up to my normal, happy-go-lucky mood. I think nowdays the only time I am really and truly happy is when I am either at school or out with my friends. I know my happy self will come back full time within the next few months, but I wonder where in the world she has been in the last few months. I kinda miss her.
Anyways, Spring Break rocked. I had so much fun in Omaha. Yeah I know it's weird for me to say I had fun where the Yankees roam free, but I did. I missed Mom and Mandie so much. And I have really needed them alot here lately. My spirits have been down, but they were so high I think NASA was gonna call and wonder what was bursting through the atmosphere! We all had so much fun playing Uno (Skank!), Trivial Pursuit (Peter Meter!), and just hanging out. I made me a song (I love me) and smelled like a boy all day. Oh and my gas!! It was so funny! I ran Mandie out of the room so many times it wasn't funny. Ok yeah it was funny. I laugh so hard the one time I was layin on the floor and stuck my butt in the air and farted. And the smell didn't go away! It just grew!! Holy doo doo that was funny. I couldn't stop laughing. Hell I'm laughing about it right now! My Spring Break was by far one of the best I have ever had.
Back to this week. I told Jordan Cole off for telling Matt that we shouldn't be together. I gotta go back in time for a second to explain this one. Jordan has liked Matt since last year. Well she knew that after Matt and I broke up last year that she could make her move on him. She did and I guess she could tell Matt was still wrapped up in me, so she told him that I cheated on him with Mark James. Matt never believed her because that shit ain't me. I would never cheat on anyone. Anyways I told him everything (again) and he knew she was lying about it all. So back to me bitching her out. Jordan told Matt that we shouldn't be together because I would cheat again. Matt told her that he knew nothing happened with Mark and I and she said that I lied to him, that I kissed Mark back (which I so didn't!). Anywho, Matt could tell I was pissed so he handed me the phone and I told her to "get her fucking story straight before she went and ran her mouth" and that I would get Mark on the phone and he would tell her he came onto me. Then I hung up. Damn that felt so good! I just hope she doesn't try anything else. Because I ain't done with her. Not by a long shot.
So that's what is new in Hopeland. Pretty interesting huh??

Catching Up

Well, well, well. I'm finally back. Dad put me back on the computer so I think my "grounding" is over. Alot has happened since I last wrote. Dad and I started fighting more, but now we are civil to each other. Things are much better than they have been. He is even letting me go out with my friends on the weekends, instead of being under house arrest. So that aspect of my life has improved dramatically.
And my love life has changed too. Matt and I are back together. This makes it our 3rd time to date but I don't care. There is something about him that I can't quiet put my finger on, but he makes me feel so safe and secure. He always has. And if the question on your mind is "What about Joe?", then I will tell you. I realized this weekend that I can't continue lying to myself about what I want anymore. Sure I want Joe, but he is nowhere near me. I want someone who is here, just a few minutes away. Matt is here, and I want to follow what my ole ticker is telling me to do. And that is to go with Matt. I told Joe this and he told me that all he wants is for me to be happy. So we are just going to be friends for now and maybe one day we will try it again, because you can never predict me in a relationship.
Ok so here is my news for today. I gave blood and when I was giving it, I passed smooth out. I remember feeling really hot and closing my eyes. Then when I came to, I could hear people calling my name and asking me if I was ok and to wake up. I didn't realize I had passed out until Kris told me I had and started picking on me about it. But I have no shame because hell, passing out is pretty common when giving blood. And at least I went to give blood and didn't chicken out because I am scared of needles. I hate needles with a passiom too so it took alot for me to go and give blood. I got to miss 1 1/2 classes in school today so I guess it wasn't all that bad. But I was really cold before I left the gym so I was glad to go back to class. But word travels fast and alot of the school knew I passed out. I don't care though. Shit happens.
Besides passing out, my day went pretty good. And oh yeah...Matt and I are going to prom. Guess I gotta go shopping now. Yeehaw.