Scared and Confused

I am so confused. I feel so violated. I don't understand why this had to happen to me. I don't know why, but I feel as if all this was my fault. I know I didn't do anything to deserve this but I can't help but feel this way. I don't want to be in the same room as him, much less the same town. I don't want to go to school Monday because I am so scared of seeing him. I just want to curl up in a ball and stay that way. I have never felt to embaressed, humiliated, or violated. I wish I could make it all go away, like a bad dream or something. I wish this had never happened. I wish I had never met him. I wish I felt like I could stand up for myself but I don't know if I can. I feel so weak but everyone keeps telling me that I am one of the strongest people they know. I know what I should do but I am too scared too. I don't want anyone to know about this. Its not something I want to be reminded of. And everyone will know because people in this town like to talk. That's all there is to do. And it's always the juicy gossip that they talk about. And this is pretty juicy so everyone will know about it by the days end. I just wanna disappear....