Michael

Hey little bro. I haven't talked to you in a little bit. Your big sis is about to be 18 and you will forever be a child. But in my heart, you are this boy who will be 11 years old soon. I always think of you on Mother's day. I know I was too little to remember the day you came and left us, so Mother's day is when I always sing to you the birthday song. I then sit down somewhere and think what it would have been like to be your older sister. I wonder what kind of person you would be like. Because in my mind, we are almost alike. You are smart, and if you have troubles with your homework you come to me and ask for help. I always help you with your history homework, but you never have a worry when it comes to math. Thinking that I help you with homework make me think about our parents divorce. You would have been 5 when they separated and 7 when they divorced. Where would you have gone? I know I would have gone where ever the courts would have sent you. I wouldn't have wanted you to go anywhere by yourself. Who would play with you? Who would you run to when Mom or Dad upset you? Who would you go sleep with on stormy nights and you got scared? I had Lisa and Mandie to do that with, and I would want you to have me in those times when all you want is love and comfort.
I think about what you look like. Would you have looked like Mom or Dad. I am told I look like them both so would we look alike? Would you have Mom's green eyes or Dad's brown eyes. Would your hair be blonde or brunette? Would you have been tall like Papa or short like Nana? A clean freak like Memother or laid back like Poppy? I wonder what kind of person you would be. Are you a little brat or sweet and good? I know I shouldn't think about this in such depth, but I can't help it. You are the little brother I didn't get to have. That Matt didn't get to have. You are the lost son, but you will never be forgotten. Our parents may never talk about you, but they do think about you. I think about you all the time. I miss you, even though you are just a memory to me. I love you. You aren't just the baby brother that was lost to me. You are the little brother who went off to a much better place. And I know that Nana and Papa are taking care of you until I am there to meet you for the first time. Hopefully that time isn't too soon because I am going off to serve our country. But if I do come home to you, I promise you we will go play.

*I have just written about the one family member I rarely talk about. His name is Michael Chance Moore and he is my little brother. He died when I was 7 years old.