Callin an old friend and the results....

Broken hearts work in wierd ways. Last night I got really upset because I was talking to Jon and he said things that I really didn't want to hear. Well I really wanted to talk about it to someone and it was around 11:30 p.m. and didn't know who to call. I just picked up my phone and dialed a number. And who I called was a very dear person to me and someone who I have missed for quite some time. I called Matt. I didn't know who to turn to, but I had a feeling that if I called him, he would talk to me. And he did. I felt as if I had been a bad girlfriend or something and asked him if I had been that way to him. He said no that I was a great girlfriend and I should never doubt it. He told me that I shouldn't be with someone who would say such ugly things about me and that I shouldn't even think about going back to someone who think such things about me. Matt made me realize that even though my heart is being pulled in about a million ways, I can't be with someone who treated me that way. Even if it was just one time. Talking to Matt made me realize what kind of girl I had become in my relationship with Jon. And it wasn't the person I was. I became a girl who wasn't independent or free. I was tied down and wasn't myself. I wasn't the "take no shit" girl that I had once been. I didn't want to stand up to him or confront him when something was bothering me. I consulted my friends and vented my frustrations to them instead of him. That is SO not me. I think talking to Matt put things into perspective for me. And it also made me realize one really good thing. I thought I had lost Matt as a friend after we broke up in February, but I hadn't. We were just going through that akward post break up phase and now we are past it. I'm glad that I called Matt. I have my best friend back and it feels really good. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I heard his words of advice. And those words will never leave my head if I can help it.