Things have really sucked lately. Dennis has deleted me from the computer at the house so right now I am at the library. I can't use the phone but slick ole me found a phone that everyone had forgot about so I can sneak phone use, which totally kicks ass. I miss Joe alot. I haven't spoken to him in a little over a week so I am driving myself crazy without him. Thinking about him is the only thought that goes through my mind when I am in hell a.k.a. home. I won't go into the details as to why I am grounded because they are fucking stupid and it will just piss me off again. And today was a good day so I ain't gonna ruin it. But I will say that Dennis and Pam broke up and he says it is all my fault. I don't really care anymore. Dennis says he can keep my family from me but that asshole has another thing coming. He can't keep me from talking/seeing my mother no matter what his dumb ass thinks. Mandie, tell Mom to make sure he can't do this because it has a bigger chance of it getting back to Dennis if I check it out. I know he can't but he will try to pull a fast one on all of us and ruin my Spring Break (again). If you don't get to read this then I will call you when I get home (if Dennis isn't there) and fill you in.
Anyways I know this is gonna sound really cheesey of me but if I keep talking about Dennis, I'm gonna break something. You know that saying absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well I believe in this statement. I am missing Joe so much it hurts. I had a dream about him coming up here to see me because he was so worried about me because of the email Mandie sent. That made me happy. But for some reason I can't smile anymore when I am home. I guess it's because you can cut the tension with a knife its so thick. I wish Joe was closer to me. I hate not being able to talk to him or see his heart melting smile. Just knowing that he is somewhere thinking about me brings peace to my already hurting heart. He is honestly the only good thing I have besides my family and friends. I need to find his number so I can call him. I want to ask him to prom but can't do that in an email (in my opinion). I would prefer doing it in person but with him being 4-5 hours away, I can't exactly do that. But I will figure out a way to get him to come to prom with me.
Ok well this is getting pretty long and I need to get back to my personal hell. Pray for me because I don't know if I can live much longer in that house. Love y'all.